Marina Berzins McCoy
Boston
Bio: Professor of philosophy, Ignatian spirituality author
About
About
Marina Berzins McCoy
Boston
Bio: Professor of philosophy, Ignatian spirituality author
Grace in Midlife 
I read “Loving Our Enemies” this morning. I have been struggling with feelings for an abusive son-in-law for months. I have done all I can, in a positive way, to keep my daughter safe. I am conflicted between what Christ wants me to do and my deep feelings of anger and rage. While I will not act out on my feelings, it does seem to me that I am failing Christ. I want to forgive, but can’t bring myself to do so. I’m seeking ideas, suggestions, etc. that may help me to set this down and live a life Christ wants me to. Thanks.
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Hello. Thanks for your comment. Probably it is best for me not to offer advice on so complex a matter from a distance. However, I would say that feelings of anger and rage in themselves are not contrary to God and your distinction between feelings and actions is a good one. Forgiveness is a process that takes a long time and might be distinct from reconciliation if another person refuses to act differently when clear communication has taken place about abusive behavior has taken place. Perhaps seeking pastoral counseling would be helpful longer term if you desire further assistance in your situation. Peace and prayers for you and yours.
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Dear Marina,
I read about your interest in prisons on a blog you wrote for Ignatian Spirituality. It encouraged me to get in touch to say I enjoy your writing. I work in this area. My contact details should be below if our research interests ever coincide!
Warmest wishes and thanks.
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Thanks! Your work looks wonderful. P
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Peace!
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